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Funny Quotes

Posted in Smile and Giggles by dearestfriend on June 24, 2009

—————- Enjoy some funny quotes

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn’t find anyone to copy it from.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Lily Tomlin

“Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.” – Joey Adams

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity. – Albert Einstein

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don’t have the film.

There are three sides of an arguement — your side, my side and the right side.

“One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.” -George W. Bush

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

The road to success is always under construction.

Car service: If it ain’t broke, we’ll break it.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher. – Socrates

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Courtsey :
http://www.coolfunnyquotes.com/funnyquotes2.shtml

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